How to break self-doubt and Build real confidence

Lack of self-confidence? Let’s break the doubts.

Self-confidence, unlike power and status, can’t be inherited. It takes countless hours and loads of effort to build on that confidence. All the deep buried self-doubts need your attention and concern. Instead of negligence, they crave acceptance.

Why break the ice of self- doubt?

“Our doubts are traitors.

 And make us lose the good we often might win

 By fearing to attempt.”

-William Shakespeare in Measure for Measure

These lines by William Shakespeare defines the whole concept regarding the importance of self-confidence.

What is Self-Doubt?

‘Am I capable?’

‘Can I do it?’

‘Why do I struggle too much?’

The questions may be customized but self-doubt as a whole is questioning one’s capabilities again and again and feeling shame about oneself.

Having a little self-doubt can be productive but the contrary isn’t true. It can be destructive at times. A person may feel doomed for no reason, one may choose to quit and not to fight.

In regards to the professional life, self-doubt can drag you from fetching the golden opportunities to grow professionally.

 

What is Confidence?

Confidence is a state of mind where a person believes in his/ her capabilities. Confidence is not about being superior but the feeling of trust within the self.

Confidence is about accepting self in reality and having a secure feeling about one’s knowledge.

In the aspects of professional life, confidence helps to create an impactful first impression, deal difficult occupational situations, gains credibility.

Ultimately confidence can be concluded as the key that makes other people trust you as a person or as a brand.

 

What causes Self-doubt?

• Upbringing as a child:

According to the theory of psychological development proposed by Erik Erickson, German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst. Amongst the eight stages of development, the stages from preschool to adolescence include initiative vs. guilt, industry vs. inferiority, and identity vs. role confusion.

If a child is treated positively he will develop qualities like taking initiative and will be confident for his identity. Else, role confusion and self-doubt will haunt for years.

• Comparison with others and jealously

All have some set of skills they are best with. Not everyone is the same. Everyone can have a different story that counts. Nor all have the same environment nor the same resources.

In that scenario comparing yourself with others will only bring low self-esteem and deep sadness. And a never-ending hunt for satisfaction will keep you exhausted all the time.

• Fear of failure

It may keep you at the back foot. The fear of failing or a sense of guilt for failing destroys much deeper than any wound could ever do.

When you fail at failing you actually fail at learning. Failure needs to be accepted and learned from. It’s a phase, not the conclusion. You have a long way to go. Don’t let mere failure to hold over you.

How to boost Self-Confidence?

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.”

        -Maxwell Maltz

Keeping the brakes of self-doubt on will ultimately lead to a crash of self- esteem. Hence boosting confidence becomes crucial to keep going and progressing.

• Take breaks

It’s okay to be exhausted and take breaks when required. Keep yourself fresh and boosted with a daily dose of optimism.

• Ask for help

The real people around you, who actually care are available for your rescue. Take initiatives and ask doubts to get them cleared.

• Write down the things

Celebrate your smallest of achievement. Let the bad thoughts go, either write them or dump them but share them.

• Face your fears
• Accept your flaws, failures, and affirm yourself as a whole.

 

Conclusion